The Stupid SSBM Show!
by Chosen One Rise
Summary: HI! i'm back with another interview show! NOTE: this fic has spoils in it. if u dont know all the hidden characters and dont wish to, dont read. (not all characters are here) NOTE: please dont flame. all flames will be used to boil my lobsters! ewww...


Hi! I'm writing more interviews! This one most likely won't be as funny as the other one because this is the second. And the seconds are usually not as good. In my case. Well, here it is anyway. And no, I don't own anyone except Alex, Dwaine, Little Billy P., and the audience. Audience: NOOO!!! Me: WAHAHAHA!! I OWN YOU ALL!! WAHAHAHA!!! -me ps- and, I have to say now; no offense to all you guys named Dwaine. You'll see why if you read. Pss- sorry, again, cuz I used something of Kirby-Chao's without asking! I r sorry, Kirby-chao! But the line is so funny, I HAD to use it!! PWEASE DON'T HUWT ME!!!  
  
*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~* (this guy's on a sugar rush. Can't ya tell from his long squiggly mouth? Teehee. I love being on sugar rush.)  
  
Alex: HI!!! WE'RE BACK WITH MY OLD SHOW!!! YAY!!! I'M BACK ON AIR!!!! *a quarter of the audience leaves* FINE! Be that way!! Well, instead of interviewing people from the Sonic the Hedgehog series, I'm going to see if the Super Smash Brothers Melee people are more exciting.  
  
Sonic the Hedgehog: *from audience* WHAT ARE YOU GETTING AT?!  
  
Alex: you're boring. Any way, I have a line of guests. The first one, and the cutest, is LINK, THE HERO OF TIME!!  
  
Mario: *from back stage* BOO!!!  
  
Link: *walks on heroically* heh. *sits*  
  
Girls in audience and Alex: *drools*  
  
Link: uh, hey, isn't this a TV show?  
  
Alex: *still drooling*  
  
Link: *waves to camera* Hi, mom! Hi, dad!  
  
Alex: *suddenly stops* wait a second. Do you even have a mom or dad?  
  
Link: no, but what the hell? *still waving* hi, mom! Hi, dad! Hi, cousin George and his little sister Pam! Hi, Uncle Francis! Hi, Aunt Petunia! Hi, Uncle Vernon! Hi, cousin Dudley! Hi, Hermonie! Hi, Hagrid! Hi, Ron! Hi, Dumbledoor! Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Weasley! Hi, *gets cut off*  
  
Alex: LINK!!! That's Harry Potter's family and friends, not yours!  
  
Link: *stops waving* oh. Well, no wonder!!  
  
Alex: What?  
  
Link: I wondered why they never answered my calls, emails, and when ever I talked to them on the phone, they talked to me like I was a total idiot and didn't know them!  
  
Alex: I see. Well, could I ask you some questions?  
  
Link: uh, isn't that why I'm here?  
  
Alex: HEY! I'M ASKING THE QUESTIONS AROUND HERE!!!  
  
Link: oh. Right. Ok, sorry.  
  
Alex: yeah. Ok, uh, *pauses and bites lip* will you be my boyfriend?!?!?! PLEASE?!?!?!  
  
Link: *stabs my leg* *starts running off stage* AHH!! THE FREAKY INTERVIEW GIRL ASKED ME TO DATE HER!!!!! AHHH!!! *gone*  
  
Alex: *cries* *stops crying* *limps back onto chair* alright. Next guest. ZELDA, THE PRINCESS OF HYRULE!!! DUM, DA-DA!  
  
Zelda: *walks onto center stage* *waves like princesses do* *sits*  
  
My brother: *drools*  
  
Alex: ugg. *happily* Owwie! [u wouldn't get it cuz---cuz u wouldn't.]*in pain again* ok, Zelda- *falls off chair*  
  
Zelda: *peppy, kinda a cross versoin of Amy Rose and Princess Peach* hey, what's up with your leg?  
  
Alex: your friggen boyfriend stabbed me with his friggen sword. *struggles back onto chair.  
  
Zelda: sword? But Dwaine doesn't have a sword.  
  
Alex: Dwaine? ---Dwaine. Dwaine! ----Dwaine? WHO THE HECK IS DWAINE?!  
  
Zelda: *calmer than ever* my boyfriend.  
  
Alex: WHAT?!?!  
  
Zelda: My boyfriend. You told me in an ever so mean way that my boyfriend stabbed you with a sword. And then I told you in an ever so calm way that my boyfriend-who's name is Dwaine-doesn't have a sword.  
  
Alex: ok, then. Let me ask you this; WHY ARE YOU ACTING LIKE ARNOLD'S CRUSH IN THE SHOW 'Hey, Arnold!"?!?!?!?!?!??!!  
  
Zelda: *hair gets blown back from Alex yelling at her* *still calm* I have never heard of that show. Do you like it?  
  
Alex: NOOOO!!! *all of a sudden calm* well, actually, it is kind of good.  
  
Everyone: *hears a honk of a horn* *looks at the door way* *there's a nerd/geek on a tricycle waving*  
  
Zelda: That would be Dwaine! Must be going! *runs to Dwaine and gets on back of tricycle* *Dwaine drives off and out*  
  
Alex: That, my good people, is an excellent example of--*gets cut off*  
  
Link: *runs out in front of stage* * on his knees* *sad violin music plays* oh! My dear, Zelda! Why do you run away from me and go with Dwaine?! *puts face in hands* huh! The agony! Your taunting is--*looks up at the ceiling* -is, is, is-is--*starts to walk away* TAUNTING!  
  
Alex: --soap opera. An idiotic one at that. Well, I have to get on with the show! Next guest is THE FAMOUS MARIO!!  
  
Mario: *walks in* It's'a me! Mario! *sits*  
  
Alex: So, Mario, rumor goes round that you put on some weight. Is this true?  
  
Mario: hm. I'a don't know'a what you mean'a.  
  
Alex: *sarcastic* hm, let's see. How do I explain. Maybe--DID YOU GET ANY FATTER?!  
  
Mario: I'm'a ina'sulted!  
  
Alex: *calming back down* alright. I'm so sorry. Now for the real questions. Do you and Link ever fight over the spot light? Both your games and adventures are very popular. In SSBM, you both are stars. How do you figure out who gets more time in the spot light?  
  
Mario: Well'a! Of course'a it is me'a who deserves'a more'a! He'a just'a can't admit it!  
  
Alex: um, yeah. That's my question. I'm not asking who YOU thinks deserves it. I'm asking "How do you figure it out?"!  
  
Mario: We'a don't.  
  
Alex: huh?  
  
Mario: We'a don't!  
  
Alex: your stupid accent gets so annoying! Come back when you have normal grammar skills!! *guards throw Mario out* --which will be never! *evil laugh* WAHAHAHA- *chokes* *clears throat* hem.  
  
Mario: MUH-MA MIA!  
  
Alex: Well, didn't that get obnoxious. *guard walks in with letter* huh? Oh, thanks. *starts to read it to audience*  
  
~~~~Dear Alex, Why did you throw poor Mario owt? Hes a grate person and u no it. U just r jellus ov his fame. I hate u now. I wil never wach yor show agen.  
  
From, Litle Billy P.~~~~  
  
HAHA! Stupid kid spelt all the words wrong! Well, *throws letter on the ground and stomps on it* next guest is SAMUS ARAN!!  
  
Samus: *walks in* eh. [I didn't know how to spell the little beepy noise she makes]*sits*  
  
Alex: Hello, Samus. Thanks for coming on to my show.  
  
Samus: Pleasure.  
  
Alex: So, Samus, could you tell the audience why you never show your hair or face?  
  
Samus: *blandly* I don't like advertising my beauty like some other people I know.  
  
Alex: *under breath* yeah, like everyone. *back at Samus* um, Samus, do you know the history behind your name? Because, heh, in the first super smash brother's game, I thought you were a guy! *another quarter of the audience leaves* --darn.  
  
Samus: hm. Maybe you should play my games. They might answer that question for you.  
  
Alex: *exhales* whew, heh, at first I thought you were gonna get all mad at me because I called you a guy! Whew!  
  
Samus: *all of a sudden competitive* ya want me too, shorty?!  
  
Alex: NO! NO! That's ok, you can stay happy.  
  
Some jerks in the audience: *singing* don't worry! Be happy! Don't worry, be happy, now! Woooohooo weee!  
  
Alex: SHUT UP!!! If you're gonna sing, make it something worth it.  
  
Some jerks in the audience: *singing* IF I HAD A MILLION DOLLARS!  
  
Some jerkettes in the audience: *echoing* If I had a million dollars-  
  
Some jerks in the audience: I'D BUY YOU A HOUSE!  
  
Some jerkettes in the audience: A big, BIG house!  
  
Some jerks in the audience: IF I HAD A MILLION DOLLARS!!  
  
Alex: SHUT UP!!!  
  
All the jerks and jerkettes: I'D BE RICH! *one more quarter of the audience leaves, including the jerks and jerkettes*  
  
Alex: *exhales, trying to calm down* ok, Samus- *turns to see that Samus is gone* *looks at the jerks and jerkettes out the door, and sees Samus singing along happily* AM I THE ONLY SANE PERSON HERE?!?! *makes a grr-ing sound and moves on* The next guest is *looks at question cards, wide eyed* oh-no-  
  
Jigglypuff: *rolling onto stage* PUFF! *also makes a squeaky noise* *tries to get up on chair* *jumps up and down* puff! Puff! Puff! Puff!  
  
Alex: *watches drearily*  
  
Jigglypuff: *still trying to get up on chair* puff! Puff! Puff! Puff! Puff! Puff! Jigglypuff! Puff! Puff! Jiggly-  
  
Alex: *kicks Jigglypuff half way across the ocean* THAT WAS SO ANNOYING!!! Too bad she can float when she's in water! Well, better move on. I hope you do know that I'm NOT going to do ALL of the characters! Well, the next guest is another hidden character. Yes, I know, spoils! But he insisted on sharing his 'thoughts' [get it?] with the viewers of my TV show! So, give it up for MEWTWO, THE ULTIMATE POKEMON!  
  
Mewtwo: *floats onto stage* hm. *sits*  
  
Alex: So, Mewtwo, you wanted to tell us about SSBM?  
  
Mewtwo: *trough his mind, as you know cuz he's physic* I don't like SSBM.  
  
Alex: oh?  
  
Mewtwo: yes. It's the worst days of my life when I'm there.  
  
Alex: wow. Why is that?  
  
Mewtwo: Everyone is so-so-happy!  
  
Jerks and jerkettes from outside: DON'T WORRY, BE HAPPY NOW!  
  
Mewtwo: kill them.  
  
Alex: I'd love to. *calls to some big strong guys with machine guns* KILL THEM!! WHAHAHAHA!! *starts shooting with own gun and the big guys are shooting, too.*  
  
Jerks and jerkettes from outside: *not dying*  
  
Alex: WHY ARENT YOU DYING?!?!?!  
  
Jerks and jerkettes from outside: BECAUSE THIS HAS TO STAY PG!! [Sorry, Kirby-chao, had to use that. *smacks forehead and falls on the floor*]  
  
Alex: Oh yeah. Forgot about that. OK, you guys, go. *big bad guys leave* *turns to Mewtwo* so, as you were saying, they are too happy?  
  
Mewtwo: yeah. I hate everyone there. For example; Princess Peach's happy-squeaky voice; All the Pokemon, for I am the true Pokemon master/Pokemon; Yoshi. I hate that thing just because; Mario's stupid accent; Kirby's cuteness; DK's clumsiness, I mean, he tripped over my tail, the fatty did; Captain Falcon, always have, always will; Fox. Fox is just too, too, too-naïve I guess. Well, doesn't matter, hate him anyway!; I HATE NESS CUZ HE THINKS HE'S SUCH A PRO AT BEING PHYCIC!! I AM THE ALL POWERFULL MEWTWO THAT IS THE ONLY MASTER AT BEING PHYCIC!!!; Samus' shoulder pads. I mean, really, who wears shoulder pads that big?!; Zelda. Zelda will be Zelda, I hate her. And Sheik is her little costume thing that I hate so much just because he's there. Roy's freaky hair! I mean, that stuff is weird!; Marth's tiara. Men don't where tiaras; And there are many others that only come when Master Hand allows them to.  
  
Alex: *wide eyed* ya know, you missed a few original people.  
  
Mewtwo: yes, I know, because I will mention the reasons I hate them in a little bit.  
  
Alex: I see, well, please, do carry on.  
  
Mewtwo: alright. I will. *takes a deep breath [if Mewtwo does take breaths]* The only person that I find not worth hating, is Ganondorf [sorry, more spoils]. He's so evil! *chucklechucklechuckle*  
  
Alex: I see. So, so and Ganondorf hang out at all?  
  
Mewtwo: *gasp* WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?! I'm offended.  
  
Alex: no, no, no, I didn't mean it that way. I mean, are you guy friends? Just--friends.  
  
Mewtwo: well, yes actually. He's says that if I help him destroy this Link guy, and get the last piece of the Tri Force than he will help me get all the Pokemon and over come Ash Ketchum. I really don't know why he'd want to kill Link, I mean, he's not much different from the rest, and ain't half bad. It's just that silly skirt he wears that bugs me. And the also, why would he want that silly piece of metal called The Tri Force? He said something about the one Link had is called the Piece of Courage, or something stupid like that.  
  
Alex: *wide eyed* for a guy that never likes to open his mouth, you sure do like to talk.  
  
Mewtwo: Indeed.  
  
Alex: well, what about Bowser? He's evil.  
  
Mewtwo: Ha! Bowser? I don't want anything to do with ANYONE from the Mushroom Kingdom. I mean, what kind of king in his right mind would call his kingdom "The Mushroom Kingdom". I mean, "Earth" is better than MUSHROOM Kingdom!  
  
Alex: uh, yeah, "Earth".  
  
Mewtwo: and all Bowser likes to do is go after that silly little Princess Peach. He's no devil.  
  
Alex: well, you're the pro at it! *looks at watch* well, your interview is done, Mewtwo.  
  
Mewtwo: WHAT?! YOU'RE KICKING ME OFF THE SHOW?!?!  
  
Alex: no, but the time is up. I have to get to all the other interviews.  
  
Mewtwo: BUT, NO!!! YOU CANT DO THAT TO ME!!  
  
Alex: uh, yes I can.  
  
Mewtwo: I CALLING MY LAWER!!! *flies off stage*  
  
Alex: I'm SOO sorry for the amount of boredom I just put you through. We will have ONE more guest, and that is all. Here she is--*gets cut off*  
  
Jerks and Jerkettes from outside: *singing* MISS AMERICA!  
  
Alex: NOOOO!! IT'S NOT MISS AMERICA, NOW GO AWAY!!! Actually, its PRINCESS PEACH OF THE MUSHROOM KINGDOM!!  
  
Peach: *walking on, looking at nails* darn, I broke a NAIL! The PROFANITY! *sits down in chair dramatically*  
  
Alex: uh, hi, Peach.  
  
Peach: hm? Oh, hello.  
  
Alex: So, Peach, do you really like Mario?  
  
Peach: I'M INSULTED!!! That fat plumber with the funny accent?! NO WAY!  
  
Alex: Well, I guess you could call him that. Yeah-I like that. "fat plumber with the funny accent" that's a good name for him.  
  
Peach: yes, I know.  
  
Alex: uh, yeah. Well, who do love?  
  
Peach: LINK!  
  
Camera man: *shivers*  
  
Peach: but, *sob* he's into greater things than I--*sigh*  
  
Link: *bowing to shrine of Zelda*  
  
Peach: *sob* I'm not really how I appear, you know. This, *stands and points to pink dress* is not my kind of taste. I must wear this. I'm trapped!! *cries*  
  
Alex: huh.  
  
Peach: I'm more like, *rips off dress and now she is wearing a red sparkly haulter top dress with a slit up to her knee* *throws crown into audience and puts on a diamond tiara* THIS! *starts singing songs from "Chicago"* AND ALL THAT JAZZ! [I love that movie!]  
  
Alex: 0.0 that is really weird.  
  
Link: *starts drooling* *arms out* PEACH!  
  
Peach: *arms out* LINK!  
  
Link and Peach: *embrace*  
  
Alex: ok, you guys can go somewhere else to start hugging and all that mushiness. And ya know what? I just noticed that the last quarter of the audience never left! What a great sign! *notices that the last quarter of the audience is dead, anyway* WHAT THE HELL?! WHO BROUGHT THEM IN HERE?!?! *stage blows up* owwie!  
  
*****************************************  
  
Me: I wonder where I got the confidence to write about Peach and Link. PLEASE DON'T FLAME ABOUT THAT!! IT'S JUST MY OPINION!! NOTHING ELSE!! And sorry about the spoils. And sorry, Kirby-Chao. And sorry, world. And sorry Roy. And I like chocolate, did you know that? I also like a guy named Nathanael, but that has nothing to do with this, so byebye. PLEASE REVIEW!!!  
  
-Chosen One 2 Rise 


End file.
